Throughout the years I’ve been fortunate to meet some truly inspiring and beautifully kind people that I will forever have gratitude for, as each have been a helping hand for me to become that little bit more aware and happy. One of these lovely persons is Dr Dain Heer – international speaker, author and facilitator of advanced Access Consciousness workshops – and one of the most kind and beautiful persons on the planet. Dain travels the world inviting people to more consciousness from total allowance, caring, humor and a phenomenal knowing. This month I catch up with Dain to hear his points-of-view about beauty and how we can become more comfortable in our own skin.
Do you think young women today are tougher on themselves and their looks than they should be?
Absolutely. Unfortunately we have been brought up in a world where we have been taught to judge, rather than see the beauty that we are as beings. So we try to create perfect bodies in the hope that it will give us a place to stop judging us, but it’s only when you make the choice to come out of the judgment of how your body looks that you can then be truly happy with you.
How would you suggest young women start taking the steps to stop judging themselves?
What I would ask, is how many of them have one person in their life that doesn’t judge them and doesn’t think they should be any different than they are right now? And if they don’t, then I would encourage them to find one, because when you hang out with that type of person, it’s like the weight of the world comes off your shoulders. The weight of the judgment weighing you down starts to vanish. And I think that’s one of the most valuable things we can find for ourselves – someone like that. Endeavor to spend time with them, or have a phone conversation with them at least once a week. Because the space that they are, that very few other people are giving you, is a sense of what it can be like to not have to judge you.
Second, when you notice yourself feeling heavy about you, feeling wrong about you, ask who does this belong to? And if it lightens up, it’s not yours. It’s not your judgment. 98% of your thoughts, your feelings, your emotions, and your judgments don’t belong to you. You’re picking them up from the world around you. Using this one really simple tool – who does this belong to? – can help to change it.
Where do you think this judgement cycle comes from? Inside or outside the home?
Both. I think it comes from this entire reality, inside and outside the home. And it’s not that our parent’s wanted to bring us up this way, but that’s the way they were brought up. Unfortunately they don’t have any tools to go beyond judgment because it’s a rampant part of this reality. People have decided that judgment is a creative source, but it’s actually a destructive force. And if you can realize that every time you judge you, or anyone else, you’re actually destroying possibilities and your sense of joy. So any time you go to do that, just visualise a stop sign, see a hand in front of your face, and make the demand that you’re going to stop, and then think of what it’s like to talk to that person that has no judgment of you. Get that energy and bring it into your world. Use it as an antidote.
What is the one pivotal virtue and lesson you would want your daughter to carry through her life in regards to not judging herself and accepting herself?
That regardless of what the world tells you, you’re far more beautiful than you are giving yourself credit for. The other thing I’d like her to know, which is something that I’ve fought long and hard for myself, is that you can change anything. You don’t have to be the effect of anything or anyone. And if you don’t give up, no-one or nothing will ever stop you from creating all of your dreams and having the life of your dreams.
How can young girls, and women, become more comfortable in their skin without feeling like we have to have Angelina Jolie’s lips or Gwyneth Paltrow’s legs? What has to change within us and society?
It’s all about being you. If you would truly allow yourself to be you, as you are, and not try to fit into anyone else’s judgment of who you’re supposed to be or how you’re supposed to be, it would change every need to judge you, or to defend the judgments that have been directed at you your whole life. And from personal experience, that’s when you start to get happy.
If we’re willing to stop perpetrating the lie that a person’s value is based on their outer beauty, and instead realize the being is actually the true beauty, regardless of the body shape or size, we’d have a totally different possibility for how we’d look at ourselves, for how we’d look at our bodies, for how we’d look at each other, and for the kind of connection we’d be able to create with each other, with no judgment and with total gratitude for one another. If we could do that, wars would probably stop, people would actually be able to wake up happy. That whole aim is why I do everything I do. It’s why I work 28 days out of the month, because I know we can create a world like that, we just need the tools to do it.
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Dr Dain Heer invites and inspires people from all over the world to greater conscious awareness from total allowance, caring, humor and a deep inner knowing. Starting work as a Network Chiropractor back in 2000 in California, USA, Dain came across Access Consciousness at a point in his life when he was deeply unhappy and even planning suicide. When none of the other modalities and techniques Dain had been studying were giving him lasting results or change, Access Consciousness changed everything for him and his life began to expand and grow with more ease and speed than even he could have imagined possible.
Dain now travels the world facilitating classes. He has a completely different approach to healing by teaching people to tap into and recognize their own abilities and knowing. The energetic transformation possible is fast — and truly dynamic.
He hosts a regular radio show entitled Conversations in Consciousness. He appears regularly on Dr Pat and Voice of America and has been a guest on hundreds of nationally syndicated radio shows. He also has appeared on several TV shows including Fox News, Good Morning Shows in New Zealand, Australia and Canada and on Gaiam TV.
Dain is the author of nine books on the topics of embodiment, healing, money and relationships. His latest book, ‘Being You, Changing the World’ was published in June 2011 and has been translated into Swedish, German, Spanish Italian and Estonian.
Purchase Dain’s Being You book here